So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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