erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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