Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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