this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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