If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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