i think my mom watched the whole time
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
