I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
