I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
