We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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