Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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