Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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