That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
