It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
