I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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