...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
