I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
