Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
