I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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