The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.