If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.