their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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