if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
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i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
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Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.