God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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