my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
