He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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