my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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