His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont even know how to be here
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
