so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
