i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
