You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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