What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
