Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
