I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
