just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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