I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
