Don't you send me to vm
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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