its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
