If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
