so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
