You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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