He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
