How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
