they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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