sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
