Do vagina's smell?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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