I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
