i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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