i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
