If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
