She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
