thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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