it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
