so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
