is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
