Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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