you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
