Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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