i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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