I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its not stalking. its research.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
