Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
