if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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